Ignored Beauty: Exploring the Dangers of Avoiding Childhood Trauma for Black Mothers
Trigger Warning: childhood trauma, sexual abuse, witnessing domestic violence
Becoming pregnant and giving birth have been described as two of the most pivotal, life-changing moments experienced by mothers or birthing persons. It is a time, as defined or understood by society, of joyous excitement, endless baby coos, and cuddling. While this notion may hold true for a majority of new and new again mothers, some women may experience struggles and concerns while pregnant or in their postpartum period. In fact, maternal mental health problems affect 10% of pregnant persons and between 6.5%-20% of postpartum women. When you begin to factor in experiences with childhood trauma for this population, mental health struggles can become more profound and defined.
Childhood trauma is defined as scary, dangerous, or life-threatening events that happen to a child between the ages of 0 and 18 years old. Some examples of childhood trauma include experiencing physical or sexual abuse, abandonment, neglect, and witnessing domestic violence. Let’s chat statistics. According to the American Psychological Association, more than half of all women will be exposed to at least one traumatic event in their lifetime, with a lifetime prevalence of developing post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, at 10-12%. Additionally, research shows that women are more likely to experience interpersonal types of traumas, such as sexual and physical abuse, when compared to men.
So, where do these statistics leave women of color? When it comes to experiencing childhood trauma, Black and Hispanic mothers are significantly more likely than Caucasian women to experience sexual, psychological, and physical abuse. Additionally, studies reveal that Black women are disproportionately affected by maternal mental health disorders, experiencing higher rates of postpartum depression, anxiety, and posttraumatic stress disorder compared to Caucasian women. There are deep connections between living with unresolved trauma and developing a mental health issue postpartum, such as a lack of trust in self or others around you, misplaced feelings of guilt, shame or blame, difficulties setting personal boundaries, emotional numbness, self-destructive behaviors, and persistent fears that something bad will happen to the baby or the mother herself. The statistics and commonalities are sobering, but they only scratch the surface of the story.
Black maternal mental health can have an intricate relationship with childhood trauma. As a Maternal Mental Health and Trauma Coach, I have witnessed firsthand the resilience and perseverance that builds within this community. I have also witnessed the burdens that many Black mothers carry silently, especially as they take on raising their children while fighting with demons of their past trauma and attempting to end generational cycles.
I want to share a brief case study of a mother that I worked with recently named Damaris (name changed for anonymity). Damaris is a 35-year-old Black mother with three beautiful daughters, all under the age of 7. As a child, Damaris grew up in a home filled with intense and often physical fights between her parents that she witnessed. She also experienced sexual abuse from a paternal uncle at 11 years old, which changed her perspective on how she viewed men and her ability to trust the intentions of others. After the kids went to bed for the night, Damaris’ mind would often falter under the weight of her unspoken fears that the same traumas would eventually happen to her daughters. As a result of this deep fear, Damaris developed into a helicopter parent who did just about everything for her daughters, thus impeding their ability to problem solve or learn independent tasks. Every cry, meltdown, or withdrawal by her children was often met with questions like, “Did someone hurt you?” and “Tell me who touched you.” She lived with the impending doom that someone would harm her children, fueling the flames of her anxiety until it fully consumed her.
After giving birth to her youngest daughter 11 months ago, Damaris realized that she might be living with postpartum anxiety as her fears of harm towards her children became debilitating, causing her to lose focus at work and in her daily life. After starting her trauma recovery and maternal mental health sessions with me, Damaris began to develop compassion for herself and release her intense need to control the outcomes of everything in her life, down to every action of her children. Through the exploration of her childhood trauma and reclaiming the fragments of her innocence lost from sexual abuse, Damaris learned how to trust others again, set and stick to her boundaries, and now allows her daughters to experience and investigate life on their own without her overprotective manners impeding their ability to learn. Damaris’ journey is ever-evolving, standing as a symbol of resilience and a strong testament to the indomitable spirit of Black motherhood. She has emerged stronger and more resilient with an understanding that her past experiences with trauma do not have to define her or impede her ability to parent her daughters in a healthy manner. After all, our children learn how to love themselves by watching their parents.
Damaris’ story is not unique. It speaks to the collective experience of Black mothers everywhere. It speaks to women who carry the weight of their past traumas and history on their backs as they move through the many facets and phases of motherhood. But surely, it speaks to the resilience and courage that lives within each and every mother out there. So, to all Black mothers out there, I want you to know that YOU are not alone. Your story matters, your words matter, your healing matters. Your pain and trauma are valid. Don’t ignore the beauty of your story and fail to realize that there is healing and happiness on the other side of pain and trauma. You deserve a healthier you, and so do your beautiful children.
In solidarity with ALL mothers,
Taylor J. Bryant, PhD
About the Author
Taylor J. Bryant, PhD
Dr. Taylor Bryant received her PhD in Forensic Psychology from Walden University. The field of forensic psychology spans multiple disciplines, including psychology, law, and crime. Dr. Bryant utilizes her degree to help her clients understand how their past experiences with trauma or difficult life experiences impact their behaviors. With women who have been diagnosed with Perinatal/Postpartum Depression, Dr. Bryant helps them explore how their childhood trauma shows up in their new role as a mother. Unresolved childhood trauma can show up in parenting styles as the mother attempts to raise her child. This includes trauma responses such as a helicopter parenting style, passive or permissive parenting styles, intrusive thoughts, avoidance, high levels of anxiety and depression, and loss/grief.
Some of the women that Dr. Bryant serves have been victims of criminal acts that have left them feeling helpless and hopeless. Clients who work with Dr. Bryant are provided with an in-depth explanation and understanding of how their experiences with crime and trauma may have impacted their perceptions and safety of the world, even outside of their role as a mother. If needed, Dr. Bryant can recommend local services that can help women obtain legal representation and supportive services post-victimization.
Learn more about Dr. Bryant’s work.
